


When The City Goes Silent, The Ringing In My Ears Gets Violent

by gendfleur



Series: She's In A Long Black Coat Tonight, Waiting For Me In The Downpour Outside [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Doomed Timelines, Gen, Horrorterrors - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 08:38:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3685611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gendfleur/pseuds/gendfleur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TG: yeah thatd be cool i guess<br/>TG: im gonna go now<br/>TT: Good luck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When The City Goes Silent, The Ringing In My Ears Gets Violent

**Author's Note:**

> a few notes
> 
> 1 - there r three ways to treat the song links in this fic. a) casual mode, just read the lyrics. if u know the song, great ! if not, w/e, not All That Important. b) general mode, click the links and listen to thirty or forty seconds of the song to get a feel for it, move on. c) hardcore mode, listen to the entire song before moving on. i would recommend hardcore mode, but it means this fic is gonna take u like 12 years. general mode is totally cool imo & thats the one most ppl would probably get the most out of ! casual mood is ok too but not my recommended method.
> 
> 2 - if i see any dersecest comments theyre getting deleted okay i do not have time for that bullshit
> 
> 3 - major suicide warning, self harm ment/imp, rose has bpd and schizoaffective disorder and there is not a single thing u can do about it
> 
> 4 - seriously if you say anything shitty im just gonna delete ur comment lmao

[_The gnashing teeth and criminal tongues_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jO2_3pVd5k0)  
[_Conspire against the odds_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jO2_3pVd5k0)  
[_But they haven't seen the best of us yet_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jO2_3pVd5k0)

You wake up. 

You wake up and you know it failed.

You had been working on this plan for five months while knowing everything was doomed. Dave was a time player; he could go back and stop John from entering the seventh gate, stop John from dooming your timeline. It wouldn't even take that much effort; the only reason you hadn't done it immediately was that you were all woefully uneducated about SBURB and you wanted to send Dave back with as much information as you could.

But you weren't a time player.

So you weren't going to go back with him.

[ _I'll see you in the future when we're older_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ccFSXgdv5U)  
[_And we are full of stories to be told_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ccFSXgdv5U)

The first time you brought it up, it was scary for both of you. He'd known that was his destiny, and he was more than happy to push it back while looking for things to bring back to the alpha timeline.

He had gotten far in those months. Roaming LOHAC, working on his quest and doing some side work while he was doing it. You'd been working on the more technical side, combing the Internet for bits and pieces about SBURB and anything else. You'd been trying to get as much information and throw that information at Dave, so he could go back and make the session work. You'd been doing some side quests to figure out how alchemy worked, and you'd gotten really good at figuring out captcha codes for just about anything.

You'd been roaming your planet some, but goddamn if it didn't give you a headache. Fighting imps wasn't all it was cracked up to be, much as you might like it to work out your anger issues every so often.

When you slept, the horrorterrors whispered in your ears. When you were awake, they slithered in your shadow, pulling at you, telling you what you should do. You could feel them, sometimes, ripping at your thoughts, trying to replace them with their own. Ripping at your skin, trying to turn it ashy. Ripping at everything you knew of yourself, trying to tear it away.

You hated them.

It scared you. It scared you to fucking death. It scared Dave to death, as much as he'd never admit it.

But you knew it didn't matter for you.

[ _And with the black banners raised_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR7U7_cKJw4)  
[_As the crooked smiles fade_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR7U7_cKJw4)  
[_Former heroes who quit too late_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR7U7_cKJw4) 

Maybe that was why you started alchemizing bottles of vodka that you tended to keep by your bed. Maybe that was why you pinged Dave at least every few minutes, checking in to make sure he was okay. Maybe that was why you sent ectoBiologist and gardenGnostic messages every day, letting them know what was happening, letting them know that you were coming back for them.

That someone was coming back for them, anyway.

You and Dave said goodbye months before he actually left. You didn't want to say goodbye on the day he went back, and neither did he; it felt too finite, too much like you were really parting.

You weren't really parting. You would go to sleep. Your dream self would remember things about your timeline, transferring them to your alpha-timeline woken self, and your current woken self would just cease to exist. Pretty simple.

(You didn't believe a fucking word of it.)

[ _Don't say goodbye_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XzA0FEEyF8)  
[_Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XzA0FEEyF8)  
[_Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XzA0FEEyF8)

When he decided to leave, you told him good luck. In your heart, you told him that you loved him and that you knew he would be okay. You told him you were proud of him and you couldn't wait to see him again when your dream self woke up as your alpha timeline woken self.

You'd said all these things before. It didn't seem right to say them now.

And then you woke up from a harrowing nap, a nap in which the horrorterrors laughed at you, stripped you from your dream self, threw you into the void, took your brain in their hands and tore it to shreds with sharp teeth.

You woke up and you started sobbing.

Dave was gone. You were glad for that. But you were not gone. And that was terrifying.

[ _Somewhere in the end we're all insane_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJeWrvgP6fM)  
[_To think that light ahead can save us from this_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJeWrvgP6fM)  
[_Grave that's in the end of all this pain_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJeWrvgP6fM)

Eventually, you got up. You took a shower (how do showers work in a questing land? You'd never asked) and alchemized yourself dinner, thanking whatever gods could even still hear you that your stove still worked. You wouldn't admit it, but you drank a lot more than you should have with that meal. More than anyone should have.

But your best and only friend had just left. You felt it was understandable.

[ _When everything feels like the movies_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8UeeIAJ0a0)  
[_Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8UeeIAJ0a0)

When you laid down to sleep, you couldn't. It wasn't the light that snuck through the cracks in your thick curtains, and it wasn't the way your circadian cycle could barely figure itself out. It wasn't the constant hissing of the horrorterrors, or the lingering delusion that if you went to sleep, you'd end up in a coma forever.

It was the fact that you were alone with only the Unknown Gods to antagonize you, and for the first time in your existence, you felt completely helpless.

You blinked and you were asleep, ears ringing from the screaming in the background of your mind. The horrorterrors were laughing at you, laughing at your futility, laughing at the fact that you ever thought you could beat them. You rolled your eyes at them, because otherwise you would break down.

[ _Unholy hexes, dark incantations_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7zHuV0znQ0)  
[_Our days are numbered, just sacrificial lambs_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7zHuV0znQ0)

When you wake up, you remember that you're alone.

You spend five days like this, alchemizing yourself basic needs and some extra items, though at this point it seems ridiculous to care about your wellbeing. It seems ridiculous to just sit and live while you very well know everything will just become more and more futile. It seems fucking ridiculous to care about yourself when, in the end, you're worthless, as worthless as the worthless timeline you got yourself fucking sent into by not paying attention, by not noticing Terezi was about to try something, by not goddamn noticing by not telling your friends by not being the safety net by not doing everything by not being good enough not being good enough you're not good enough you're not good enough you never have you never will be-

Five days of thoughts that could either come from your shitty brain or the horrorterrors. Frankly, you couldn't care less. Either way, you want it to stop. Thoughts about just killing yourself, about just sticking those wands through your skull, about just ending it.

In your opinion, five days is a long goddamn time.

[ _I'm tired of waking up in tears_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bwBOLEdewY)  
[_Cause I can't put to bed these phobias and fears_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bwBOLEdewY)  
[_I'm new to this grief I can't explain_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bwBOLEdewY)  
[_But I'm no stranger to the heartache and the pain_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bwBOLEdewY)

On the fifth day, you wake up with tears on your cheeks, mark another day off the calendar with shaky fingers, and go about alchemizing your meal.

(Time has no meaning anymore. You're keeping the calendar to remind yourself how long it's been. Breakfast lunch dinner mean nothing.)

You alchemize yourself a mix of medications that you should not have. A mix that you carefully calibrate to stay down for just long enough. A mix that you pile up into a few handfuls, setting a cup of water next to it.

You eat your meal. You pick up your water and just look at it for a few seconds. And then you start swallowing pills.

You know what you're doing. Anyone else might've tried something "more certain," but you are very certain. You want to die as painlessly and happily as absolutely possible, not jumping off a cliff, not covered in blood, nothing that would cause you undue stress.

[ _I'm staying home today_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMVxN0B4HnA)  
[_Gonna hide away_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMVxN0B4HnA)  
[_Cause it feels like rain_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMVxN0B4HnA)

A few thousand milligrams of one, a few thousand milligrams of another, and you top it off with half a bottle of the strongest vodka you could figure out how to alchemize.

You get in bed once you start to feel woozy.

It only takes ten or fifteen minutes for everything to become shaky, for everything to start collapsing in front of your eyes, and you smile because it's going to be over. You're going to be okay.

Maybe you'll even see Dave again.

You close your eyes and everything is black.

[ _I wanna contribute to the chaos_](https://youtu.be/wxn3Fjs1-_I?t=10s)  
[_I don't wanna watch and then complain_](https://youtu.be/wxn3Fjs1-_I?t=10s)

But everything is not gone.

You hear whispering, you hear laughing, you hear static and terrible screaming, and a voice clearer than the others whispers into your ear. It is an alien language, a language your lips probably couldn't speak, a language you shouldn't understand, but do.

"It can't be that easy."

And you open your eyes to see your room.

Your room. On LOLAR.

Your heart rate spikes, and you feel panic bubbling inside your stomach, and you run-walk to the mirror and there you are. Alive. Real. Healthy.

Like nothing ever happened.

You scream, and you don't stop screaming for ten minutes.

When you do stop screaming, there's a glitch in the upper left corner of your vision. It feels like a television glitch, a small line that sometimes darkens, letting the horrorterrors grow just slightly louder. You take a deep breath and close your eyes, and when you open them it's gone.

You alchemize yourself a meal.

You go outside and endure the headache, fighting imps to the highest point you can find in your land. And when you look down, you don't even feel fear. You don't feel regret. You feel nothing.

[ _She's pulling her weapon to her side_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9MrdsuQfNE)  
[_Loading it full of her goodbyes_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9MrdsuQfNE)  
[_Holding an enemy across the line_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9MrdsuQfNE) 

Maybe it was your body still being whole. Maybe they need you to really commit to it. Maybe you need yourself to be dismembered for them to be unable to pull you back.

You smile. You close your eyes. You take a deep breath.

And you fall.

It's only a millisecond of gut-wrenching agony.

Everything goes dark.

But everything is not gone.

The horrorterrors surround you, squeezing your brain, screaming and laughing and sighing at intervals. The alien language purrs in your ear, terrifying and comforting and fucking awful in every sense.

"You are our link," it sighs into your mind, somehow knowledgeable to you through channels you doubt you will ever find. "You will let us connect to the alpha. You will let us understand her. Control her. Use her.

"You are our sacrifice and our savior. You cannot die, young one."

You open your eyes to your room on LOLAR.

And you scream yourself hoarse.

It's a maelstrom of a breakdown, and you don't know if you're screaming because you don't want to keep living in a dying timeline or screaming because you keep being brought back. Maybe it's both.

You alchemize yourself a meal.

That night, you get shitfaced drunk and end up throwing up your meal into the bathtub. You don't remember doing it, but that's okay, because it means you also don't remember screaming about how much you hate yourself, screaming about how much you hate this game, screaming about how another version of Rose doesn't have to handle this, screaming about how much you hate your goddamn piece of shit alcoholic fucking mother who you turned out to be in the end.

You wake up lying on the bathroom floor, and it's the only reason you know you didn't kill yourself last night.

You don't know why you didn't.

[ _Oh, you meant so much  
_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-Vg2YS-sFE)[_Have you given up?_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-Vg2YS-sFE) 

You alchemize yourself a meal.

You find yourself grateful that the forces behind the game granted you electricity as you plug in your laptop and turn on some music to try and drown out the horrorterrors. Internet access, but of course nobody to upkeep, which makes you feel even more alone.

You decide to stick to mindless games for your own amusement.

Or you would, if you hadn't seen the pesterchum logo.

You succumb and open the application, and you scroll through your chumlist, knowing, of course, nobody would be online. Out of a mix of habit and loneliness, you open turntechGodhead.

And as you backread, as you read every single interaction between you and the kid who became your best friend in those five months, you don't realize you're sobbing until you can't see the screen anymore, obscured as it is by your teary eyes. But you keep reading, because you miss him so desperately and you never want to forget how he sounded, how he typed, how he expressed things. You never want to forget anything about him.

Regardless of how long "never" will be.

When you finish, you've used up hours, and you're starting to go off the deep end again, you can feel it. So instead of getting punch-drunk, you set your shaking fingers to the keys, taking care to actually correct typing mistakes.

TT: Hello, Dave.  
TT: I hope you're doing alright.  
TT: Everyone back there is treating you kindly, I hope.  
TT: I haven't been doing that well, sad to say.  
TT: It appears as though the horrorterrors are using a superficial link between me and the alpha timeline to connect with the Rose from your current timeline.  
TT: An interesting tactic, I suppose. One that I would not have predicted.  
TT: This timeline didn't end.  
TT: I never thought it would, to be entirely honest. I do hope you'll forgive me the superficial lie of telling you I did. I didn't want you worrying unduly about me.  
TT: I only lasted five days before trying to kill myself.  
TT: Funny how that works. You can last for months when you have someone around, but the minute every sliver of hope is lost, you become a child again.  
TT: It's okay, though. I wouldn't want you to think you did any of this.  
TT: You did what you had to do. What we both decided you should do.  
TT: And I'm assuming your timeline has righted itself.  
TT: I suppose I'm glad there's at least one timeline that still has you.  
TT: It's very lonely here, though.  
TT: I've tried to kill myself twice.  
TT: I'll spare you the grisly details, but suffice it to say I believe the horrorterrors are keeping me alive by bringing me back every time.  
TT: I'm not sure why they couldn't just take control of her by herself.  
TT: Perhaps I, in being from a timeline where no hope is left, am more susceptible to their words.  
TT: Perhaps my alpha has more of a constitution than I do.  
TT: Perhaps she could last longer in this godforsaken place. 

You stop typing, because you haven't thought about that yet, and it makes you upset.

Perhaps your alpha is more resilient than you are. Perhaps, in growing up more and more, she's learned things you don't know, and never will. Perhaps she found things about yourself you didn't.

Perhaps, in the end, she's just better than you.

You think, on one hand, it's silly to compare yourself with another version of yourself. On the other hand, this entire game has been immensely silly in the worst possible way.

TT: I hope you and my alpha are getting along.  
TT: Even though she may not have memories of these few months, she's still more or less me.  
TT: I hope you don't miss me too much. 

(That's a lie. You hope he misses you as much as you miss him. You want to know you were needed. You want to know he loved you too.)

TT: You of all people should know how to keep a timeline on track. Dave Strider, timeline extraordinaire.  
TT: I reread our logs.  
TT: I'm a bit of a handful, aren't I.  
TT: Weren't I.  
TT: Anyway, I realize I'm rambling. I do apologize, I'm having a bit of a bad time.  
TT: I'll ping you later. Maybe I'll have more to say as I come to understand things more.  
TT: Goodbye, Dave. 

You close the laptop and set it on the floor gently before putting your head in your hands and sobbing.

You miss Dave so much it hurts. Usually, five days would be fine. You managed without your other two friends alright, even if you did become a bit of an alcoholic. But you survived.

But Dave was your last connection to a real world. He was your grounding force, he shared hallucinations and delusions, he was brainsick as fuck in so many ways you were too, and he was still real. He helped you. And your help was gone forever.

You don't know how long this is going to last. You don't want to know how long this is going to last. Because it's what you imagined hell would be.

You alchemize yourself a meal.

[ _1 2 3, 1 2 3_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KXPLT2Xk5k)  
[_(drink)_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KXPLT2Xk5k)  
[_1 2 3, 1 2 3_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KXPLT2Xk5k)  
[_(drink)_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KXPLT2Xk5k)

You get shitfaced again that night. This time, you scream about how you were abandoned through no one's decision but your own. You scream about how it isn't fair. You scream about how much you fucking hate your alpha, about how much you can't stand that she has your Dave and you don't, about how she's probably better than you and you can't handle it you don't want to think about if you're the weaker Lalonde you're so angry you're so tired you're so sick you're so broken please give him back please please please-

You wake up bleeding from a gash on your arm, caused by a broken vodka container. It's mixed with some of the colorless alcohol on the floor to create a swirling painting of self-destruction that you find beautiful for a few seconds. You pick up the biggest, sharpest piece of glass and consider running it across your skin, consider getting a short, short reprieve, but you won't betray yourself like that. You drop it in the trash and go find yourself a mop.

You alchemize yourself a meal.

You last another two days before a fit of self-destruction finds you out fighting imps, looking for anything bigger, anything that could tear you to shreds and spit you back out. You don't know how this works, but you want to destroy yourself, and you want to find a way to do it without letting the horrorterrors bring you back. You want to go down fighting, because maybe the game will take pity on you and close you off from Them.

[ _I took the road and I fucked it all away_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXzDu071RdQ)  
[_Now in this twilight, how dare you speak of grace_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXzDu071RdQ)

And then your lips spill some words you shouldn't be able to understand, and you look down at shaking fingers that have turned grey, and you blink away static at the edge of your vision, and you're struck with terror you didn't know you could feel. 

You spend the rest of the day crying in bed.

You alchemize yourself a meal.

When you sit down with your laptop again, you open pesterchum first. You're going to open it eventually, and you might as well get it over with.

You bring up Dave's window, turning on your music to try and drown out the screeching laughter in your head.

TT: Hello, Dave.  
TT: I hope this message finds you well.  
TT: I think the horrorterrors are getting more clever. That, or they just don't want to expend energy to bring me back.  
TT: They've informed me that meddling with dark magic can do these kinds of things, and I suppose they're right.  
TT: However, I can't help but think that perhaps I was destined to commune with the horrorterrors one way or another.  
TT: Being a Derse dreamer, taking an interest in dark magic from a young age, having at the time inexplicable events happen to me from a young age.  
TT: Perhaps, no matter what I did, I was going to have to deal with this.  
TT: I wonder if there's an alternate timeline where the horrorterrors do not exist.  
TT: It wouldn't surprise me. However, I do wonder if that would doom the timeline or make it more susceptible to success.  
TT: You would probably know more about that. Time players do have the advantage in this situation, I think.  
TT: ...  
TT: I miss you.  
TT: Goodbye, Dave. 

[ _Won't you find me now?_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJXEUq7DI-U)  
[_Won't you bring me home?_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJXEUq7DI-U)  
[_Why can't I remember your name?_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJXEUq7DI-U) 

You play Drop7 for three hours.

The sun never sets on LOLAR, and you find yourself struck by the irony that sunlight drains your energy, and of course you're stuck on a planet that has no shortage of sunlight.

You find yourself thinking about other ways to kill yourself as you close your laptop, and where the thought used to be frightening and intrusive, it's now a welcome part of your brain. You don't need to push yourself away from them anymore, but instead just make a mental note to perhaps try some of these tactics at a later date.

You fleetingly wish this wasn't so normal already.

Years pass like this. Four, five, six days of talking to ghosts of your dead friends, of eating and sleeping, of fighting imps for the grist to alchemize what you like, and one or two attempts to die for the last time. One or two meetings with the horrorterrors, one or two sessions of breaking down crying, one or two instances of hitting rock bottom.

Repeat ad infinitum.

TT: I never thought I'd get to this point.  
TT: Dave, I wish you could hear me.  
TT: I wish you could see me.  
TT: I wish you could talk to me.  
TT: I miss you. 

[ _The world, the world, the world, the world, the world is mine_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rlKFEKDb5w)  
[_But you're not there_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rlKFEKDb5w)

You don't know how long it's been. You don't know if it's been weeks or months or years or decades. You know how many times you've killed yourself by gouges on your wall, gouges you mark every time you wake up in your bed. You know that every time you go out to fight, you have to consciously make the decision to keep Them from taking over, from letting you ravage the planet. 

TT: I hope you miss me.  
TT: I hope you still care about me.  
TT: I hope your timeline is doing well.  
TT: I hope…  
TT: I hope you're doing well. 

[ _Say something, I'm giving up on you_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC8tP9Oo52Y)  
[_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC8tP9Oo52Y)  
[_Anywhere I would've followed you_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC8tP9Oo52Y)  
[_Say something, I'm giving up on you_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC8tP9Oo52Y)

Nothing tastes good anymore. For the most part, you don't have the energy to make much food; sometimes, you just refuse to eat until you get debilitating stomach cramps. You sleep in turns too much and too little, running in your dreams and in your woken life, fleeing yourself and the horrorterrors. You're constantly exhausted, and time doesn't mean anything to you anymore. You didn't think you could get any worse. But you have.

TT: Is your Rose good to you  
TT: I hope she is  
TT: I hope she actually cares about you  
TT: As long as she loves you I don't care  
TT: If she loves you she deserves to live  
TT: Dave I miss you

The universe has finally started to crumble. You can feel it being unable to sustain itself, feel it tear itself apart after untold years of trying to hold itself together through your battle with the horrorterrors. It hasn't had to deal with anyone else, which is probably the only reason it's stayed as long as it has. You've made friends with some of your consorts, but they just kind of babble at you. It's not the same as actually having people who love you.  

[ _And all the people hurried fast, real fast_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccZuKOTb6ug)  
[_And no one ever smiled_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccZuKOTb6ug)

TT: How does time work for you  
TT: Are you still alive  
TT: How long has this lasted for you  
TT: Youre a time player why am I asking  
TT: This timeline probably doesnt even matter in your viewpoint anymore  
TT: Im sorry Dave  
TT: I couldnt even keep myself together for a few days  
TT: I cant do this and I could never do this and Im sorry  
TT: You left and I went to hell and I dont even know why  
TT: Except for that I cant handle being left alone  
TT: And it wasnt even your fault  
TT: It wasnt anyones fault except for this shitty fucking awful game  
TT: Im sorry  
TT: I failed you  
TT: You wanted me to be better and I wasnt  
TT: Im so sorry  
TT: I love you 

[ _And I told you to be patient_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaYzbAxbIPs)  
[_And I told you to be fine_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaYzbAxbIPs)  
[_And I told you to be balanced_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaYzbAxbIPs)  
[_And I told you to be kind_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaYzbAxbIPs)

Everything is being destroyed. You can feel the earthquakes under your feet. You can see the slight wavering of your vision as you look outside. When you blink, everything goes static for a few milliseconds before being restored. Your consorts are just disappearing, and you don't know where they're going. You suppose the game is just swallowing them up, and you're okay with that. You know it's happening (finally, finally, finally) and you know it will happen as fast as it's going to happen.

TT: the timeline is dying  
TT: everythings just kind of collapsing  
TT: my consorts are disappearing i dont know where to  
TT: my brain is glitching out on me  
TT: probably because im just a game construct now  
TT: i wonder if ill get to see you  
TT: i wonder if youre still around to see me  
TT: i hope you are  
TT: thats all i want  
TT: i want to see you 

[ _Just looking out for the day_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEPSfXINdT0)  
[_When you're close to me_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEPSfXINdT0)  
[_When you're close to me_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEPSfXINdT0)

Your home is the last place standing, and it's not standing very well. You can see darkness when you look out your window, which is something you haven't seen in a long time. The darkness of the void should be vaguely terrifying, but you passed that point a long time ago. Now, it's just a note that you make in your head, a note that is mildly intriguing but nothing else. The darkness is almost a welcome change, because there are no horrorterrors there. They're screaming in your head, trying to run from the utter destruction in this universe, but they no longer scare you. They no longer make you fear them. They're dying as much as you are.

You open your laptop as your house's walls fall around you, smiling very softly as your fingers cross the keys for the last time.

[ _The time for sleep is now_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDHY1D0tKRA)  
[_It's nothing to cry about_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDHY1D0tKRA)  
[_Cause we'll hold each other soon_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDHY1D0tKRA)  
[_In the blackest of rooms_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDHY1D0tKRA)

TT: I love you very much, Dave.  
TT: Thank you for doing what you did. 

[_Let the sky fall_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeumyOzKqgI)  
[_When it crumbles_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeumyOzKqgI)  
[_We will stand tall_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeumyOzKqgI)  
[_Face it all together_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeumyOzKqgI)

You close your laptop and shut your eyes, and there's a few seconds of ripping, tearing pain through every millimeter of your body before everything goes black.

When you open your eyes, you don't look at your bedroom walls, and it surprises you for a second out of sheer habit.

You don't know whats going on, but you feel clean. You feel pure. You feel like everything is okay, for the first time in decades, more than likely.

You're not sure where you are, but you're very sure you just left that existence behind.

And you know, for the first time in a long, long time, that you're free. You're home.

[ _Do you feel cold and lost in desperation_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUmtn-BMB6o)  
[_You build up hope, but failure's all you've known_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUmtn-BMB6o)  
[_Remember all the sadness and frustration_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUmtn-BMB6o)  
[_And let it go_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUmtn-BMB6o)  
[_Let it go_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUmtn-BMB6o)

 

**Author's Note:**

> MAYBE READ THE NEXT ONE NOW HAHA (im going 2 die)


End file.
